Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Money, for lack of a better word, is good! (Part 2)

As I grew older, the strain of growing a beard started showing. I did not grow much wiser, or to my bitter disappointment, richer!
New methods had to be devised, refined and implemented with the same meticulous care that Wookies used to build the Death Star (Result of which is - Praxis effect explosions for everybody!)

Palpatine: "Do you recall what I told you about the relationship between power and money, Lord Vader?"
Vader: "Yes, Master. Where the Jedi gained power through money got from conventional means, the Sith gain unconventional money through power. Wait, what?"

So I decided I wanted to be a Sith. Sort of. Unconventional money making techniques it is, I decided. 
A quick Google search brought me to a most heart-warming tumblr blog of Awakening of a Girl through Unconventional Means. Reading the blog felt like being stuck on an endless cycle of Jason Mraz's I'm Yours and Everywhere (Fleetwood Mac). But it brought me to the conclusion that if you think you can find an honest money making scheme online, you should be whooping like this-

So after some brainstorming, I could come up with some ideas, which are listed in no particular order:

1. Start a Religion.
If you've been watching Game of Thrones, Melisandre has taught you a lot of things. It's easy to get uninspired people excited about a new religion. It does help that Carice Van Houten has nice hootens, but I digress..
I'm sure there must be a hundred different ways of making money by starting a new religion. Introduce a blinking in the sanctum tax. Record confessions and put it up on iTunes. 
I personally wouldn't mind being a priest in the temple of the Kama Devi. But that's just me.

2. This is easily my favourite- Become a professional critic.
Everybody likes an Anton Ego. You can also walk around with a sign saying : Fresh out of compliments. 
Heck, you could become a critic's critic.

3. The Book Job : The Simpsons Season 23, Episode 6. 'Nuff said. 

4. Take up advertising. A sign I saw slung around a brassiere mannequins neck read: Avon Brassiere's, For the Real Woman. Somehow I think they missed the point. 

5. Advice Columnist.

6.  Start a Blog. Put up ads on the blog. Sue your kids. Sue your wife. Sue your husbands. Cos they're suing everybody out here. *Antoine Dodson Advice Voice* Sue like this guy - Sues like a Baws. 

As I was Googling for Unconventional Jobs I came across this : Princeton of Pot, Harvard of Hash, Cambridge of Cannabis.
I was however apprehensive to go to the site, even more so than I had been of the blog. After having extensively researched Communism for an assignment the previous week, had I visited the site, I'd have to keep the curtains drawn or risk a red dot appearing on my forehead. First Communism, then cannabis. What next? Chemistry Cat! The Horror...



    As a very great man once said, 'nuff said.

  2. Do I know you axolotl?
    Your name sounds familiar :P