Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Money, for lack of a better word, is good! (Part 1)

In a life spanning nearly two decades, I can honestly say cartoons have been my greatest influence.
Mr Burns in his mansion embodied it, Scrooge McDuck dived right into it. (Gordon Gekko baldly put it). Greed is good. Well considering how Batman, Ironman and if you remember this guy - Darkwing Duck did perfectly fine without greed, I've had a greater obsession with Money. With the slight exception of Richie Rich Jr, all the cool, badass, [insert compliment here] guys have been filthy rich. And some just plain filthy.

As I grew up, I came to realize my earlier assumptions of complete financial security were more than slightly misguided. The day I came to the conclusion that my Mom's half threats - that my inheritance would only consist of Tupperware - contained a nugget of truth in them, I decided to take a stand.

Though my Mom insisted that Tupperware was the greatest investment possible, and hoarding gold and silver would get you nowhere, I desisted the family bandwagon of believing in lifetime warranties. Six years of Mango Chutney residing in the back of a freezer does tend to break Tupperware, especially when you drop the afore-mentioned Mango Chutney box onto the floor all in the name of scientific experimentation. Tupperware does however replace it's supposed unbreakable products. We run a small business now. Breaking your older boxes (which takes more effort than Tupperware would have imagined people would put into breaking their boxes) to get FREE new ones. It's quite the racket.

Come on over to my Tupperware Party

Which brings us back to the point where I decided to take a stand. I was going to become a self made man. Technically a boy, but Millionaire at 15 does have a nice ring to it.

So we come to the my first 'bizness'. For those of you unfamiliar with the magnificent world of Pokemon and the impact it had on Indian kids everywhere, I'd suggest marching to a guillotine. But I'm afraid that'd be too kind.
Cheetos' mastermind plan in giving Pokemon Tazos/Jenga, gave people like me amazing opportunities to pick on the serfs. In this case, kids younger than me. I was 10 when I managed to take command of the trade cartel. Vito would've been proud.
My attempts to sell worms I found in a bucket (yes, bucket) of stale puffed rice, as Caterpeedle (Caterpie + Weedle...Hey kids! I just found a new Pokemon! Would you like to buy one?) were fairly successful.
Them kids hardly had the money to propel me into Millionaire-dom. But I had enough in terms of credit, and Tazos. Money was accounted for by the number of Cheetos packets I could buy with it. One packet a day and I was happy. Twas truly a much simpler time...


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